Go Boldly: Living My Potential

This process of improvement has been in waves, rising up and finding new heights and higher lows. I finally worked my way through the Sedona Method book, and it's been kickass for clearing out my BS beliefs and being my genuine self.

This week I've had a lot of success in the job search front and, coupled with my work at releasing old beliefs, I've arrived at a point where I'm looking at myself in a different light, one that isn't clouded (or not so much) by false external beliefs.

Earlier this week, I found that place where I felt completely free of the BS, or at least far more free than I'd ever been. In this state, I was powerful. I was magnetic. I wasn't thinking about myself at all, I was just living life. People wanted to talk with me, women wanted to be close to me, employers wanted to interview me. I felt completely genuine and free.

And it was once I found this place, where I was being instead of seeking, where I was accepting myself and allowing myself to be magnetic, that I saw myself in a different light and realized some things. I'm in another of those "alpha" mindsets where I'm pushing myself to reach for the stars, walk through my fears and think about what success I want in my life. It's a phase I find myself at regularly as I go through this process. I'm consciously pushing myself toward the positive, toward courage, and simply not accepting the negative BS and fear in my thinking.

This one is higher than the others have been. I'm feeling some traction, that I'm on my path and it's time to run down this path at full speed.

I'm an amazing man with incredible experiences and a deep well of untapped poetntial. For whatever reason over the years, I accumulated this pile of BS negativity from the world telling me to set my sights lower, that I wasn't ready, that I should do this or that, and all that other crap the losers of the world say to ensure they have lots of other pathetic losers around to keep them company on their journey to suckdom.

And I LAUGHED!

I see how how completely ridiculous it is that I thought I had to listen to this crap and actually take it seriously. All these voices telling me what I can't do, what if this happens, what if that happens, when there's a whole fucking world of untapped potential out there. It isn't about whether I can do it, it's about not feeling sorry for everybody else when I allow myself to thouroughly kick ass in life and start leaving all the mediocre people in the dust.

I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "what am I doing? I'm a fucking hottie, and I'm actually wasting my time listening to some of these guys who SUCK try and convince me that I need their help to have success with women??"

This was a first. I finally found my balls, stood up and realized that my problem hasn't been that I don't have the abilities, because meeting women is actually pretty easy, but that I've been allowing others to convince me I should be doubting myself instead of just being the sexy man I am!

I'm not blaming the community, I'm saying that I should have thought better of myself than to accept the negative bullshit of society, to take other people's failures to heart and lower my opinion of myself to conform to the group. I've been selling myself short at a deep level.

This week, I found "normal," and I could FEEL the magnetism. Seriously, it was cool. Life felt really fucking easy. So I'll take THAT and run with it, instead of looking behind me or looking down at possible failures. It's a while different mindset, and it fucking ROCKS!

I looked at my relationship with my wife completely differently. I married her because I thought she was the best. I deserve the best. If she isn't the best, if I was misled or my impression was wrong, then let her go live her second-rate life and demand the best for myself.

All these nights worrying about my job instead of focusing on how I can kick ass. Instead of worrying about whether I can survive at my job, or whether I can do this job, how about thinking about how I'm going to kick ass at this job. It may not be my true career path, but I can kick as at anything, so just do it. And stop feeling sorry for those who can't keep up.

It's a cool "alpha" mindset, a "killer instinct" where I stop listening to the losers of the world and feeling sorry for them and focus on the prize, focus on the moment, really live the life I want to live. No more thinking about whether my wife will be okay without me, she'll be fine with her low expectations. No more thinking about whether I'll survive, instead think about how I can thououghly kick ass today.

I'd been focusing a lot on "courageous" affirmations and they've taken hold. And I realize now how I've been completely checking out and selling myself short. This "nice guy" routine is a bunch of BS, my attempt to blend in with the group. But that's not who I am. Time to step up - better late than never.

Reframing Social Interactions

Throughout this process, I've been treating social interactions as a process of courage, that I need to muster up the courage to talk to people and be social. The whole concept of "social anxiety" centers around this. It's either overcoming fear or "making fear my friend."

It's been a LOT of work.

Then the other day as I was discovering my mindset, I thought "what if I just turn this around?" What if, instead of seeing social interactions as risky and something to fear, I saw them as an opportunity and something to look forward to. What if I saw the whole meeting new people as nothing but an opportunity for fun and new experiences and just didn't focus on the whole "courage"thing?

I mean, doing courage is great and all, but does everything have to be a struggle? What if the problem is just how I perceive it? What if meeting people was just this fun, who-gives-a-shit experience and I did it because it's fun and interesting? I could find other uses for courage, and it sure would free up a lot of energy.

I think it's time for an attitude adjustment.

Self-Discovery: I've Been Risk-Averse and Resistant to Change

I can talk the talk but, inside, I haven't been walking the walk, and that's why it's been such an effort to turn things around.

A couple days ago, I went to the beach and did some releasing on my goals. The goals I released on are:

I allow myself to be the sexy stud every woman wants to fuck.

I allow myself to be completely carefree and in the moment.

I allow myself to be the man I really am and live the life I truly want to live.

I allow myself to be the mayor.

I thought about each one separately, felt whatever negative emotions came out, discovered the source of that emotion, and let that want go. What kept coming up was that, even though I talk about taking risks and making changes, and want to change and let things go, instinctively I've been very resistant to change and taking real risk.

And it's this resistance that's been the reason why making real, permanent change has been so difficult, why I'd keep going back to an unhappy situation and doing things I don't want to or don't like. I haven't been seeing myself as the man who is truly good enough to deserve the life I want and to pull it off. This doubt leads to a desire for security, so I gravitate toward the FALSE SECURITY of what's known and acceptible, instead of the REAL SECURITY that comes from being secure in myself and solidly on my true path of happiness.

I've been afraid of risk, because I doubt my ability to handle things, even though when I've been on my path and motivated, I've surpassed even my own expectations for myself. I've been afraid of change because I haven't seen myself as worthy (shame, guilt) or able to achieve my desires ("not good enough"). Well, that's total bullshit, too, and I don't need to spend months to come to that conclusion, it's just not true.

I'm getting more than I expect in life because I don't see myself as the amazing man I really am. And what I'm getting is still far less than I can achieve and what I deserve. So even when I think I'm doing good, I'm still settling!

This was an awesome revelation, because it completely explains my life up to now, how I'd reach "levels" and then "backslide" into mediocrity. The best part is it points the way out of this, that I don't have to keep living in fear of "backsliding" or doubting that I can make a permanent change.

So I began focuing internally on three things:

1. Believing in myself at a deep level. Rejecting and reframing the old "can't handle it/ not good enough" beliefs and fully accept the amazing man I am. This is affirmations/ self hypnosis/ conscious reframing, and very focused.

2. Accept and enjoy risk taking. Refram risk as the opportunity for success, not the risk of failure. Totally turn around the entire concept of risk into opportunity. This is partly affirmations and partly actually choosing risk at every opportunity.

3. Embrace change. Reframe away from the loss of what is to the acceptance of what I truly want. Things are getting better and better every day the more I allow myself and my life to change. This is mostly an attitude shift to following my past instead of worrying about what I don't like or what I could lose.

This process also involved releasing all wanting of security and wanting of approval - keep releasing over and over and over and feel that shift. It's an awesome feeling. Later I'll write about my experiences in this mindset where I let everything go and just be who I really want to be, letting go of all desire for approval and security.

Pretty Fucking Cool Eye Game Stuff

I started doing some self-hypnosis with a focus on believing my affirmations and beliving in myself in the suggestions.

And hey, it's working! I finally feel like I support the affirmations instead of questioning them or looking for proof that they work.

Then what happens? Instead of me looking around to see if women are showing attraction, I'm just doing my thing, making eye contact naturally, and just like Cory Skyy said, they show up. Suddenly women are positioning themselves near me to get my attention, and in some cases not even being subtle about it.

I don't think most women have the slightest clue about how to actually approach men. Even the very attractive ones just won't do it, but they will make sure to give the guy every opportunity to approach them. Cory talks about this and calls it "eye game." You gaze the room, make eye contact and make a connection, then you just kick back and enjoy yourself, you don't think or act.

Then you'll either make "accidantal" eye contact again or you'll notice she's closer to you or opened herself up to you. Then you move closer, or just go right up and approach, since the door's open, but it's more fun to play the game - at least it's more fun for her, women dig this.

So you move closer, open yourself up, more eye contact, more connection. Then it gets fun. First, she'll make sure you're not out of her sight, but try to do it so she's not being too obvious. So if you go to the restroom, or move someplace else for whatever reason, she'll be watching and will reposition herself if she thinks she has to in order to be closest to you.

If another woman accidentally gets between you and her, your persuer will get territorial and try to get the other woman out of the way. Sometimes it's not an accident. It's weird how powerful this mindset can be when it first "clicks," it'll feel like you can move women with your eyes. In a way, you can move women, but you feel like you're defying the laws of physics instead of getting in touch with human attraction.

Anyhow, when things click and I've started really accepting the affirmations, it's just like Cory says, the eye game is available to everybody.

Now... my problem is... I haven't really done anything about the whole "still in a relationship" thing, so this is all I have to report for now. And the Mrs. is SUPER into me now, so this stuff works on the women you know, too.

Another thing I've been doing is focusing on really loving my life, even the parts I want to change. The more I focus on that and just enjoying myself, the easier it is to let go of any nervousness around women and attraction just happens. Plus, I'm happier... which is pretty fucking cool all by itslef!

Anyhow, bottom line, Cory Skyy's Magnetic Mindset really does work just like he says it does as soon as you can truly accept it. And that accepting it part is deceptively hard.