Two Month Transformation (Long)

The past two months have been interesting – a lot of challenges and a lot of growth.  I've been alluding to my circumstances, but not directly telling my story.

May started with an amazingly crappy week.  I took a day off work to take my baby son to the doctor, spent hours there dealing with tests and everything (he's okay).  On the way home I got a speeding ticket.  The next day my ex wife threatened me with a lawsuit because I questioned her psycho parenting.  My older son still does not spend weekends with me and hasn't since January. 

Then that Thursday I was laid off from my job.  Despite the economy and my liking my employer, I was actually glad for this.  I welcomed my change in circumstances, the opportunity to relax and improve myself, the opportunity to find a better job with less commute, the opportunity to handle a challenge thrown at me.

And my being a yes to my unemployment really bothered my wife.  I posted some things on my Facebook about how I was enjoying my unemployment and she got upset.  This isn't the first time she's complained about things on my Facebook page, and I don't appreciate what I see as controlling behavior.  And that's exactly what I told her, that I thought she was being unreasonably controlling, that there's nothing wrong with my Facebook postings, that I was working hard in my job search, that my unemployment wasn't costing her a dime and that her intrusion into my life was uncalled for.

Immediately after my unemployment my wife, our baby and I took a cross-country RV trip to Kansas to visit her family and bury her father's ashes.  It was an enlightening and liberating trip.  I experienced the amazing beauty of Grand Canyon, saw some cool things in Colorado and Utah, met some wonderful people in Kansas and helped my wife find her dad's old family farm through a random exploration of a town in western Kansas.  These were awesome experiences.  This was also my last "obligation vacation," which meant I was free.

I returned home needing some space from my wife and not really getting the space I needed.  But I did get the space and time to work on myself and really make some changes.  I finished the Sedona Method and applied the exercises to break some old stumbling blocks.  I got a good chunk through "The Power of Now" and felt moments of presence.  I worked through the AMP "Sexual Power" DVD set and discovered this incredible connection to my body and my sexuality, as well as a feeling of confidence and groundedness.

I thought I wanted space from my wife.  Instead we were having the best sex of our relationship and for the first time I really felt present in lovemaking.  We were being more adventurous and there was this incredible energy, which I attribute to my getting rid of the BS and getting right with my sexuality. 

At the same time, I was more assertive about my wants and needs.  I called her out for her bossy behavior.  I asserted what I wanted with vacations and separated myself from her expensive lifestyle.  I took time for me without worrying about her approval, or any needy issues.

I grew closer to my older son and spent more time with him.  I found more moments of presence with my baby boy.  I became more assertive as a father without being argumentative or overly emotional.

And I faced my fears about my job search.  I challenged myself to be bold and confident about my career, to commit myself to being successful, to kicking ass in my job, to believing in myself, to knowing I can do it.  I had great interviews and ended up taking a job offer that pays considerably better than my old job, cuts the commute by more than half and is a great fit.  Now I'm back to work.

I really grew during this unemployment, faced my fears, eliminated some stumbling blocks and came out a better man. I was a yes to my circumstances and embraced the opportunity.  This made all the difference.  I'm much more authentic, sexy and attractive now.  And I'm closer to my real path.  It's been an incredible couple months.