Update - Setbacks, Tests and Progress

It's been an interesting three weeks. Most noteworthy, I was laid off from my job. I went through a period of being bummed about this, because I really liked that company, but the commute and the job itself weren't that great. Honestly, I think the things I really liked about working there were the Starbuck's machine and the hot women I got to interact with every day. I can obtain Starbuck's anywhere, I can find beautiful women anywhere (and even act on things, since it's not at work), and I can find a more fulfilling job with hopefully a much smaller commute. So I'm cool with it. I also need some time to sort things out.

The other noteworthy event was a 12-day Bago trip through the US, ending up in the midwest. This was a trip I was dreading. It was a lot of driving, and it was out of obligation. But it turned out to be an enjoyable trip, my obligations are officially over (YAY!!!), and I learned some things about myself.

During that trip, I couldn't work out, I couldn't do my affirmations, I couldn't do my "Code of the Natural" exercises. Hell, I could barely shower for most of the trip. I was crowded on the Bago, lots of driving, little sleep, no alone time. So it was a test in many respects.

I found out that I really am at a higher level. I snapped at one point on the trip, I had a couple periods where I felt down, the combination of losing my job and thinking about the direction of my life to that point. But for the most part, I really enjoyed the experience, even the driving, even being crammed in a Bago with the wife and baby for all that time. Even the fact I didn't catch a single fish on the whole trip.

I enjoyed the moment, savored the experiences without getting hung up on the distractions and negativity. I enjoyed the people and relaxed environment of the midwest. I enjoyed the beauty and cool-ness of Colorado. I was blown away by the Grand Canyon. I enjoyed being with my wife.

So the affirmations and exercises have a lasting effect. I didn't "backslide," I just enjoyed myself. I think I needed the break from all the "work" on myself. Now that I'm back, getting more sleep, back to doing my affirmations, working out and doing my exercises, getting time away from everybody, I feel stronger than ever.

I've been tested and came out better for it. I'm not bummed about my job loss or down on myself. At one point on the trip, I really felt a personal alignment, that I was truly my best friend, that I was only going to support myself from here on out, no more being at cross-purposes with myself or doubting myself.

I started doing some self hypnosis after I got back. I have an induction on my iPod and I give myself instructions that I believe my affirmations and the more I say them and write them, the stronger they become in my reality. It's working! I now feel like I'm supporting my affirmations, not resisting them.

Also, I realized I'm not living the life I want to live. I can dress it up, but this isn't where I want to be and what I want to be doing. The good news, my obligations are over, I've passed the test, and the rest of my life is ahead of me.

Time to go back to the job search...