Unexpected Sadness

I was feeling so awesome about everything yesterday and really feeling a transformation into someone whose not attached to having a woman in his life, who loves himself and his life as it is and who is so comfortable and energized with his sexuality. Last night I was a little uneasy falling asleep and today I woke up, did a hypnotic affirmation ("I am in love with myself and my life. I am fulfilled and complete. I am living my life mission."), and shortly after that I felt this profound sadness.

It isn't depression, it's more of an energizing sadness, but very profound. I was crying most of the morning. I realized this is my way of letting go of the "old me," it was a cleaning, cathartic sadness. Something about that seemingly innocuous suggestion must have set off a chain reaction and that's what tipped things over and I could let go. I don't even know what I'm letting go, but my subconscious mind was ready to accept a change.

Since I've begun the hypnotic suggestions I've been feeling these profound shifts more and more. I'm creating real changes inside, living my life mission, being the man I want to be. Even this sadness had a pleasurable feel to it. Big things are happening and even bigger things are about to happen.

Self Hypnosis, Orgasmic Mastery

I've been talking a lot about the positive effects of a new self-hypnosis program I've been using. After over a month of using this, I feel comfortable sharing the link and saying that it WORKS for me. I hope it works for you. Here's the link:

http://www.conversational-hypnosis.com/

With this link you can access some free stuff which includes a killer self hypnosis package that I'm using. I use the self hypnosis to implant the beliefs I want to fulfill my life mission. So I'd suggest first, know where you want to go and a plan to get there, THEN use the self hypnosis to help you get down that path – bust through a limiting belief, super charge an affirmation, etc.

Part of my life mission is creating a kick-ass erotic identity. Through AMP, I came across Desten Gerrek, AKA "The Erotic Rockstar." He has a program called "Orgasmic Mastery," which is a twelve week program for gaining control over your orgasm. I've spent a lifetime dealing in various degrees with coming earlier than I'd like and really wanting choice and control over this area of my sex life, as well as establishing a killer erotic identity and having the confidence and mindset to really be that amazing lover. I've been going through this program for three weeks now and I have to say it is well worth the investment of money (about $500) and time.

In three weeks, I have discovered the pleasure of self-pleasure, without a goal in mind, and with no shame or guilt. I haven't mastered my orgasms, but what I have done is learned to connect with myself in a positive, energizing way that has helped me reframe the way I look at sex, as well as given me access to a whole new aspect of body awareness. This program really covers a lot of aspects of self-awareness, body awareness and exploring a sexual identity. If you're ready to explore your erotic identity and commit to establishing a new level of sexuality in your life, I highly recommend this course. If you take it seriously, you'll be surprised at what you'll learn.

http://www.orgasmicmastery.com

 

Conflicts, Challenges and Tests

I've had a lot of conflicts, challenges and tests. For all this time, I saw these as a burden, that there was something wrong with me. But they aren't burdens at all. They're gifts! As I grow and evolve, the world will test me more and more, with more and more challenges and conflicts. Women will test me. People in my life will test me.

And this is a great thing. This means I'm making real progress, that I'm the real deal. The universe wouldn't make any effort on my behalf if there wasn't something real there.

So these life challenges are actually life-affirming. The conflicts are opportunities for growth and strength. The tests mean I getting better, more confident, more sexy. And the more I gracefully and confidently face these tests and challenges, the faster I grow. The more tests, the more growth.

I've been struggling uselessly to resist the tests and challenges. Today I saw the truth, I did a hypnotic affirmation: "Starting now, I face every conflict, challenge and test fully confident, grounded and authentic." This is a big a-ha, and the fact this even landed means I've already grown by leaps and bounds. What's coming up next is going to be un fucking believable.

Desire for Masculine

This surge in sexual confidence is awesome! The changes and commitment to making more change is astounding, simply incredible

Last night I gave my wife a sensual massage… with a happy ending! The whole experience was so rich and beautiful. I was lost in the moment and felt so in command, confident and fluid. I totally "breathed her in" and felt her energy in a way I haven't before. It was almost a spiritual sexual experience, I actually grew from it. And it's only getting better – this is the beginning!! I can tell this is just the very first few steps on a bold new journey of change. Soon even this SPG will be a distant memory, a speck on the horizon. And I really dig this guy!

Today I'm feeling this desire to bring more ferocity and masculine energy into this change. I'm wanting to feel the "real man" in me – dominant, fearless, confident, bold and assertive. I'm ready to own that. I rewrote my mission statement to include that element, I'm doing some new self hypnosis affirmations to embody this and I'm actively practicing BEING that man – living my life as the "real man" I'm wanting to be.

I can see a cycle to this growth, but the movement is in days from wave to wave, not weeks or months, and the movement is more dramatic, accelerated and certain.

I wonder…

I wonder what changes will be happening in my life now that's I've crossed over into my own identity?

I wonder how my relationships will change now that I've finally allowed myself to be the sexy, sexually confident, attractive man I've always wanted to be up to now?

I wonder what new things will come into my life as I live my dreams.

I wonder what, if anything, from the life I've been living, the life I've just today let go, will come with me to my new life?

I wonder how different this new life will be from the fantasies I've had of this life.

This is the Real Deal

I can actually feel the difference in my sexual confidence. I keep having the crazy dreams. This morning, I'm feeling pressure in my head and in my chest and a weird, uneasy feeling. So I do self-hypnosis to let go of the fears and resistance and allow myself to change. It produced a very strong shift and a surprising result – I felt sad!

I was disappointed that my wife and I didn't make love this evening, and a little disappointed at the sex last night – it felt like she wasn't there with me. Usually that sort of thing makes me feel angry, not sad. And it's not a hurt sad, it's more of a morning sadness, like I'm saying goodbye. I'm saying goodbye to the old SPG, my old life and seeing the disappointments of my marriage in the context of who I am now and what I want in life.

I've been doing a lot of these challenging shifts and self-hypnosis things and it's been amazing the results I'm getting. I've been feeling a little frazzled, but that's really where I want to be. I want to mix things up really good so nothing can ever go back to the way it was in my mind. And I'm going to do the same thing with my whole life.

Today I felt like a "new man," it felt very peaceful, and sad, and new. I felt like my voice was new.

Tonight I'm going to find some time to meditate, to get centered and find my guiding purpose. This is an exciting change and it's going to be a whole new life. I don't even know what it's going to be like, whose going with me, or what I'll be doing. But I feel like I'm getting prepped for the journey right now, washed clean of all the old BS and moving forward. I know it's going to be amazing – this is the real deal!

Transformation Underway

I'm not ready to sing the praises of my latest evolution system, but let me share what's happening so far:

• A DRAMATIC increase in sexual confidence. Old negative beliefs are fading away, I feel amazing, connected and I'm noticing a very surprising change in the attraction I'm receiving from and sharing with women;
  
• A new and growing sense of purpose and meaning in my life. I don't feel rudderless anymore, I can see now what I want, I can see a purpose in everything I'm doing and a growing desire to make massive changes to align myself with this purpose;
  
• A growing and unshakable desire to cast off the old BS life and completely start anew;
  
• Inspiration to really listen to my affirmations, read and visualize my mission statement and study the lessons that are being presented to me that are guiding me to my higher purpose;
  
• Wild dreams, nightmares, tumultuous sleep that is signifying an integration of the changes, casting away old beliefs and setting the groundwork for even more dramatic changes;
  
• Questioning everything – Am I happy being a father? (Honest answer – no.) Have I fully separated myself from my parents? (No, the pull is still there, but I'm committed to cutting this cord.)
  

There's a lot going on here, but it's so early in the process. Things are changing and I'm committed to that, but whether this process I'm doing is going to put me all the way "over the top" remains to be seen. I have to say, so far, I'm impressed, to the point of finding myself saying "wow" at the person I'm being, how I'm feeling and the reactions I'm receiving. At any rate, this is accelerating me along my path.

Redefining My Reality

My sexual confidence has been skyrocketing this week. I actually found a self-hypnosis system that works, and I can literally feel and see the difference. I've been really busy this week and hadn't been doing much aside from my work, workout out and work on myself in the form of reading my mission statement and self hypnosis exercises to instill positive beliefs and habits. I've felt really different, though - so much more grounded and masculine. Everything about sex and my sexuality just felt GOOD. I've noticed more attraction from women and just feel so muc more comfortable around women and present with my attraction.

Then I looked in the mirror. I could SEE a difference! I'm the same guy but a MUCH different vibe, it's wild.

So I've been going through "Redefine Your Reality," made my mission statement and here's the great part of this, it demands ACTION! You don't just sit back and wait for "the universe" to take care of everything, you take action to CREATE what you want, let go of the beliefs that you can't and just do. I found out that my inaction and excuses were my way of dealing with the voices that said I can't. Now I've got that "drill sergeant" inside pushing me to act, because I CAN!

Then I found some killer information on improving my sex life and started reading it. Then I found some killer self-hypnosis techniques for eliminating limiting beliefs. These plus the whole "Redefine Your Reality" program put me out, like $60, since some of the stuff was free. Things are finding me as I'm going through this program. I'm on the right track.

Last night my wife attacked me and I felt such a rich enjoyment and growing confidence – everything is feeding off each other. Today this cute girl at the gym who I'd spent months making eye contact with and not talking to stopped me in the parking lot and invited me to work out with her sometime. She remembered my name and everything. Just going about my life, things are happening.

Oh, and today, for the first time since 2003, I'm DEBT FREE!

And I can tell this is just the tip of the iceberg. I've never felt this GOOD! Seriously, those days of worrying about what my wife said or what she's feeling seem like distant specs now on the horizon. All I can see is just potential and abundance everywhere. I LOVE my wife! I could see things becoming amazing and growing into something fantastic that I WANT, for a change, no more of this whining about what I'm not getting, just challenging myself, believing in myself, and going about getting what I want and deserve, and everybody wins in the process!

I can already feel the abundance in my life and I've been dedicating to this for not even a week!

So maybe the marriage will evolve into something incredible, maybe I'll evolve away from the marriage. Either way, where I'm at right now feels incredible and I see this amazing future that I don't have to worry about one bit.

And I haven't even finished the RYR ebook; I've barely gotten through 1/3 of the awesome sex manual; I haven't even finished the entire self hypnosis training.